who is that master of disguise?

Alabama State Trooper by night...

...Army weapons specialist by day...

...corporate insurance agent when the mood strikes, or anything else in between.

And now for something completely unrelated...

...sure glad the LAPD has my best interests at heart, to protect me from...

...are you f-ing kidding me?! What they should really be protecting us from is...

...candy marshmellow french fries and candy gel ketchup. And look, its low in sodium and cholesterol free, so you know it's good for you.

When in Rome, do as the Romans

And when in LA, work in show buisness, glue a cell phone to your ear, and take your life in hand every day on the highway.

So that is what I do now...sorta. What I mean to say, is that I am now working as a background actor (glorified term for extra) on all your favorite tv shows. Well, not on the Simpsons, turns out they need suprisingly few extras on cartoons. But Criminal Minds, CSI: New York, Cold Case, and My Own Worst Enemy, all these I have been on, as state troopers, lawyers, marathon runners, news crewman, and trendy New York club-goer. It is a good thing I am background only, as I have no concept whatsoever as to how a trendy New York club-goer is to act, but all I had to do was sit at a bar and pretend to drink and talk to the guy next to me while pretty girls jiggled on tables and the real actors conducted their buisness on the other side of the room. Could it be that this is all there is to trendy? So the work (if you can call standing around pretending to talk and gesturing silently work) is monotous, the pay is low, but the food is pretty good on most of these sets.

In other news, I got a permit from City Hall to juggle, play the guitar poorly, and tell bad jokes on street corners in Santa Monica. Now I just gotta polish my material a bit. And wait for the stilts to arrive. Yep, stilts. They wouldn't let me unicycle as part of my permit, but they said nothing about stilts, so I got some off ebay, should be here in a few days. So we'll see what happens on that front.